Posts Tagged ‘ #framleyclip ’

#framleyclip: a grave matter

my next door neighbour everybody needs good neighbour Sue seems to be stepping up her newspaper based terrorist campaign given that she has clipped me two long sections today and left one dangling half way through my letterbox and the other sellotaped to the bottle of milk on my doorstep. the milkwoman comes at 4:30 and i brought the bottle in at 7:45 so we now have a definitive ‘window of operations’ in which we know Sue does her sordid work. as always, i reproduce the clippings here so that you, dear readers, can help me to decode any hidden threats that might lie herein.

#framleyclip: holmes for sail

#framleyclip: the winner of our competition to work out why my neighbour persists in giving me strange cuttings from our local paper was Sian-Alan Hanson-Lloyd from Londonish Town, Kent.

Sian-Alan cleverly deduced that my neighbour Sue probably hates me and wants me to move away. The Hanson-Lloyd Thesis as no experts are yet calling it has been today been supported by the appearance of a new clipping presumably from Sue which was this time not handed to me by the same but sellotaped to the middle of the outside of my front-kitchen window intended-reading-side in.

Sian-Alan wins the lifetime supply of Co=op funerals whilst the opportunities to punch baroness tHATchEr were won by Lennox Lewis anDrew unWorthy and Dame Judi Dench. details of her forthupcoming public appearances have been emailed to the addresses you gave – i hope you all get her good.

#framleyclip: when nerds @tack

#framleyclip: here we go again. my neighbour has once more been keenly snipping and this time she’s given me this load of useless nonsense.

can you make any sense of why she does it?

can you stop her?

in fact, let’s make it a competition: the grand prize – a lifetime’s supply of cremations* (thanks to Co-operative Funeral Care) – will be won by whomsoever comes up with the best solution to my problem and tells me about it. Three runner-ups will each win the opportunity to punch Baroness Thatcher once.**

[*closing date 10/05/10. entrants must be computer-literate and over the age of 9. prize cremations are valid only for the co-op’s cheapest and most standard package which are boring and cannot be customised in any way and are strictly non-transferable. **stated opportunities will involve being told where she is if we see her. punches cannot be directed directly at any vital organs (n.b. any accidental ricochets into life-sustaining organs will not be penalised. if you hurt your hand on ‘The Iron Lady’ that is your lookout).]

#framleyclip: classyfieds

#framleyclip: my elderly neighbour loves nothing better than waisting her rapidly dwindling time taking seemingly randomly selected clippings from her favourite local newspaper – The Framley Examiner – to give to me.

i don’t want them – you have them.