friends, it pains me to
have to report that the #gastrognome has been blighted by sadness.
what pains me more, dear reader, is that i cannot but help feel more than slightly responsible. in an attempt to bolster his oftentimes meagre self-confidence, i had expressed to him in no uncertain terms that he was the world’s finest online food critic.
at the time that i first made this pronouncement, it was motivated not only by sympathy and compassion, but also by the sense that it fitted all the available data.
recently, however, it has come to both our attentions that this conception can no longer be maintained in the face of the breathtaking work of a new, young wünderkind of the food criticism world. this precocious genius does his work primarily online, publishing stunning video reviews under the formidable name Thefoodreviewer, and is very much Curnonsky, Ronay and Reichl rolled into one.
here is a flavour the brilliance that has thrown the #gastrognome into a fiendish funk.
Transcript (for the speakerless):
Troobet, today I’ll be teh-tasting the [ugkhum] diet coke in can.
I’ve already had one today. I know it’s good.
Cisco right ahead gettin’ right in the view no talking.
Moss tart by opening it, what that le-Paul thing.
I hate these things [*chish, ker-klaa*]
Amuch better than regular. Coke and Pepsi, huuh.
Yeah, d’um [*slllerrr-cuaah*]
Ah, buy the diet coke in a can, s’pretty good.
[sudden aggressive tone]
THANK YOU FOR WATCHING