#tirednewsflash: headlining

you’re looking at #tirednews

… the news, in your world, as and when it happens*, reported.

and the headlines today: are. these. headlines.

*bong* Shergar found. Then eaten.

*bong* Royal wedding list still open. I’m getting one of the two dinner plates, plus something ‘off-list’ I found in a cool boutique.

*bong* Yes vote ‘could let extreme moderate win leadership election’ claims Al-Qaeda No-To-AV campaign.

*bong* John Paul II – not exactly a saint.

*bong* China introduces world’s most weak-hearted smoking ban.

*bong* Mugabe pockets millions thanks to Bin Laden assassination & Middleton wedding dress accumulator bet.

*bong* Trump kicks off presidential campaign by forcing British nephew to do surprisingly well in snooker tournament.

and in financial news: Stock price of moths up again.

[*news will usually be available slightly after things have happened]

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