#showertune: ‘dirge’ by death in vegas

good mourning

well done. you made it through the vile veil of evil and live (either that or you’re reading this as a ghost, zombie, vampire or other type of unquiet or undead thing). either way, welcome to mondaynity.

i don’t know about you, but here are my results: 143 houses, 112 treats, 57 tricks (note: as always, some got tricks even though they gave out treats because the treats were crap, or the people looked, smelled or seemed annoying). far fewer tricks needed to be done than last week – hallowe’en always brings a year-high spike to the graph of treats i find – which is good, because smashing windows is tiring, petrol and lighters are very expensive and trapping pets in bins is politically sensitive.

i was already in a bad mood because, for Hallowmorn, The Dr and i went to a preview screening of Let Me In, the boringly titled new American remake of the brilliant Swedish vampire film Let The Right One In. i can’t say it was a disappointment, because I wasn’t expecting much, but it was depressingly, predictably mediocre. basically everything they changed was for the worse. i’ll write up a proper review soon, but for heaven’s sake just see the original.

so, what with that, and several references in various media to “Halloween night” (see what happens when we forget about apostrophes?), i almost didn’t bother to dress up as Frank from Blue Velvet and head over to the posh end of town.

in the end i talked myself into it. however, thinking ahead, i went out nice and early so i was only competing with the small kids and i could get home to watch the whole slew of crunchy, gloopy horror films that would surely be on in the evening to cheer me up. it turned out that someone at freeview had forgotten to schedule any, except for Halloween, which was on BBC 4 at 11:35, and Halloween 5, which was on BBC 2 at 1:55, meaning that if you are a vampire and weren’t planning on getting up till dusk today, then you could watch one good and one really lame film, with an hour’s break in between to do your nails. if like me, however, you are not such, you were basically stuck with James May’s Man Lab.

other than hair like a grey spaniel and horrible shirts, the key to being a man is apparently that we all like really crapply made things moulded out of concrete, and train sets. it was so depressing to watch him padding around onscreen describing colanders as ‘leftwing’ and seemingly believing that he’s not just a massive stereotype. it was practical though, given that he taught a gawping idiot how not to charm a woman, and then spent ages showing us all how to defuse a bomb – which noone in their right mind would ever attempt for real, and which, even though he had the required self-tapping needle, he ballsed up. and, after all that, when it finally went off, he wasn’t even slightly maimed or lacerated. by this point, the joy i’d got from all the pensioners i’d alarmed earlier was wearing right off.

luckily, the Psychoville special made everything better. if you missed it, you should get all over iPlayer. me likey.

today’s festive #showertune is Dirge by Death In Vegas

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  • Comments (2)
    • kirkycheap
    • November 1st, 2010

    my ex-boyfriend of a hundred years ago trapped Merlin in the washbasket once. I should’ve reported him to the RSPCA

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