#tirednewsflash: wiki-oh-dear


the independent newspaper The Independent has been the source of much snickering over the last few days, after some copy included in Saturday’s edition was rather carelessly lifted from a Wikipedia entry that had been altered for the purposes of comedy.

a feature on The Big Chill festival, which took place over the weekend in Herefordshire, went, it has emergéd, to, it seems, print replete with the fictional fact that “The Big Chill was founded in 1994 as the Wanky Balls festival in north London”. this misleading titbit is, in reality, an inaccuracy – hence the adjective ‘misleading’.

“yeah, that little nugget of history”, lamented junior Indy copy-writer Antonio Danbareass, whilst on her break this morning, “had apparently been added to the Wikipedia entry by some joker who didn’t bother to check the fact.”

“indeed not”, we could only concur.

the Independent join the South African government in an at-least-two strong line of organisations recently left with egg on their faeces by not having bothered to make sure that the relevant people had gotten the memo about not just copying and pasting in stuff from Wikipedia. last month, following the triumph that wasn’t the 2010 World Cup, the South African government honoured FIFA president Sepp Blatter with The Order of The Companions of O.R. Tambo or some such. however, a statement on an official website described the accolade as having been awarded to “Joseph Sepp Bellend Blatter” – a taunt which had been added to his you-know-where profile.

“Although these might look like obvious errors that should have been spotted near-immediately by anyone”, discussed Scottish TV psychologist and presenter of Chart Rundown, Dr Grant Bovine, “in actual fact studies have shown that most people don’t even see the massive gorilla that weaves in and out of the grad students passing the basketball on YouTube. The people responsible for the mistakes were also unfortunate that the element of what we call ‘existential plausibility’ was elevated in both cases. Therefore, we see that in both instants, the erroneous text found its way into official publications due to what is essentially an ironic, by-proxy Freudian slip – they knew the two packets of info were false, but they subconsciously judged them to be truthful.”

in brighter news, the (not my) home counties are suffering the worse incidences of festival related ‘upsidence’ since records began, in 2008. ‘upsidence’ is the opposite of its better known opposite ‘subsidence’, and means the opposite of that. the newly named phenomenon occurs each summer when droves of the areas’ 30-somethings take themselves, their large vehicles and stately pleasure dome-tents around the ‘festival circuit’. the annual exodus causes the counties to experience such a drop in the magnitude of the overall normal reaction between the ground and the things on it, that the ground begins to rise.

this year, so far, the upsidence has, in west Surrey and the southwestmost corner of Berkshire, reached 3cm, which is around about London. for remaining residents (or unfortunate visitors), the raising of the ground will (and-is-already) cause motion sickness, vertigo, haughtiness, a sense of there being cleaner air, a minor improvement in visibility (depending on weather conditions) and severe roads.


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