#recordbox: glastonbury forecast

i’m not going to glastonbury festival this year. in fact the last time i did, the year was 2000 and you could take as much liquid onto a plane as you could carry. as far as i can tell, what has mostly happened in the interim period is that the percentage of middle class, Hunters-sporting, mid-30-somethings who’ve left Talula and Theo with ‘G-Ma’ and her new boyfriend Raul, and intend to gorge on themselves on cocaine and red wine in the vain hope of recapturing the youth that was cut short by their demanding internships at Deloitte and Hill & Knowlton, has increased exponentially – along, of course, with the ticket price.

if, however, you are going, (or even if you’re not) you’ll no doubt want to know what we at RQT think of the lineup as it stands, and learn who we consider a ‘must see’ and who falls into the catagory of ‘do not even if you’re dead sea’.


seek: The Flaming Lips (one of the best live bands around)

seek: Gorillaz (a massive improvement on U2)

seek: Mos Def (almos def)

seek: Breakestra with Chali 2na (trample children to get there)

seek: Hypnotic Brass Ensemble (utterly amazing)

weak: Snoop Dogg (and our survey says: uhh-urrr)

weak: The Bootleg Beatles (weddings? perhaps. expensive festivals? not so much)


aye: Muse (Devon’s finest)

aye: Shakira (lady got a truthful pelvis)

aye: George Clinton & Parliament/Funkadelic (o’ fo’ sho’)

aye: Brother Ali (why not lend him your ears)

why: The Lightning Seeds (when is this, 1996? no thanks)

why: Reef (ohh place your haaaands on my ears)

why: Chipmunk (all three, maybe, but never just Theodore)

why: Tinchy (winchy) Stryder (climbed up the water spout)


hit: Stevie Wonder (see him before he dies. hopefully Blue won’t join in)

hit: Rodrigo y Gabriella (awesome guitar duets)

hit: Quantic and Bárbaro (Will Holland’s latest project)

hit: Dr. John (a gen-u-ine New Orleans legend)

hit: Richard Thompson (this cat can play guitar)

hit: dan le sac Vs. Scroobius Pip (oddball hip hop – well worth a punt)

shit: Norah Jones (i’d rather tweeze my scrotum bald)

shit: Orbital (head torches only get you so far, you also need talent)


whatever you do have fun, be safe and remember to prepare yourself for non-stop ‘van food’ before you go.

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