#tirednewsflash: the lamb of god

WEIRD FAMILY ‘WITNESS’ FAST FOOD MIRACLE

the southwest of England witnessed a miraculous occurrence yesterday for the first time since 2002’s Dorsetshire ‘happening’ involving a vision of St. Mary in the locker rooms of a Poole swimming poole.

the revelation of the power of the divine took place at The Imperial Hotel a former rich person’s house cum giant Wetherspoons public house in Exeter Devon UK. “the lord’s power was manifest” explained witness testifier and religious-nutbag-family son Matthew Paul Wrangle 24 “when my sister (Rachael-Ruth Esther Wrangle 19) went to the bar to order some food. My father (Abraham-Issac-and-Jacob Wrangle 43) had been talking about how much he has missed the lamb burger option in Wetherspoons famous Beer and a Burger deal since it was removed before going on to request from my sister (who was going to order the food) that he would – heavy-heartedly – please have a gourmet beef burger with extra cheese extra onion rings extra bacon and a diet pepsi.

upon arriving at the bar” Wrangle long-windedly continued “my sister forgot about the gourmet beef burger and instead ordered a minted lamb burger – the option that no longer exists on the menu. to our subsequent astonishment the bartender didn’t blink an eyeball and put the order through the computer. it was only when the food arrived at our table and the astonished waiter presented my father with what in his words ‘appears to but can’t possible be one lamb burger’ that we realised that a miracle had occurred.”

according to the deputy duty manager at the Imperial who was on deliveries at the time Ian Paisley “the whole thing is certainly a mystery. the lamb burger has not been on our menu and thus the patties not in our freezer since summer 2008” Paisley bemused “when the family realised they were all shouting and dancing and singing simplistic songs of worship to god and it was quite a scene.” despite having been officially asked never to sing-out or prophesy in tongues at the pub again the Wrangles are delighted to have been the vehicles for the UK’s most recent partial unveiling of god’s awesome might. have.

when asked for a comment in relation to the incident Errol Brown of the fairly unsuccessful disco-pop-soul outfit Hot Chocolate said “well, i think i’ve made it clear in the past that i believe in miracles.”

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  • Comments (1)
    • Drew W
    • April 22nd, 2010

    It’s news like this that makes it that much easier to be a believer. I’m going to broadcast it on my Thought For The Day Radio Show. God Bless you.

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