#gastrognome: indulge gins

we’ve all been away a while

but it’s an especially long while since we had any advice from our demi-resident food critic and general gourmet the #gastrognome.

what better way then, we thought, to both reinvigorate ourselves and welcome the small amount of fine weather that we are currently subject to, than by asking for his thoughts on and tips for the perfect gin and tonic?

be warned, however, he has only recently returned from leading overpriced steak tasting courses in St John’s Wood, Wells, Tunbridge Wells, Primrose Hill, the non-carnivaley bits of Notting Hill, and West Didsbury, and he’s not quite gone back to normal-speak.

anyway, that not withstanding – enjoy. cheers! *chink* (with eye contact)

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o Route One
Frankly shovel crushed or better-still shaved ice into a crystal tumbler. Introduce an indifferent squeeze of a lemon and four long shards of the former’s peel. Charm the citrused ice with a measure and a drip of G’Vine Nouaison, further grant Fever-Tree Indian tonic water and shallow-whirl three times. Announce it as ‘crafted’.
 
o Route Two
Neither under nor overwhelm the bottom of a china teacup which has been grafted onto the stem of a wine glass with small-cubed ice. Further ingratiate yourself to it with several short cucumber shards and two mill-revolutions of black pepper. Inquire of the proposed enjoyant whether or not (s)he plans to subsequently return to work, and fortify the cup with a volume of Hendricks that stands proportionate to their reply. Finally, congratulate your creation with three-to-four times as much F-T as you granted it gin, stir once and serve with a sprigette of rosemary and modest assurance.
 
o Route Three
Brandishing a bevelled highball, establish it with coarse cubes of fresh-ginger-infused ice. Rebuff the ice with a nip of orange zest then further challenge it with two licks of No.2 Anchor Distilling Company’s “Genevieve” genever. Indubitably and somewhat dispassionately finish it with F-T. Sharply trouble the liquids with a glass rod or vintage, bakelite chopstick and immediately send.
 
[In the event that your local supplier is temporarily unable to provide these gins the following are acceptable as substitutes:
 
- Cadenhead’s Old Raj for G’Vine Nouaison
– Leopold Bros. American Small-Batch for Genevieve
– nothing for Hendricks (if they don’t have it, burn the place down)

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  • Comments (1)
  1. - Can I get you a drink?
    – Have you got any tonic water… with some ice… and er, a segment of lemon…. and could you top it up with some Gordon’s Gin?
    – A gin and tonic?
    – Yeah that’s right.

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